More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
