so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
