whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
