Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
