is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
