Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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