look no pants
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
