I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
