needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
