OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
