I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Randomize