Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
