I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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