He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
