remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
