My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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