Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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