I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
