You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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