If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
