We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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