I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
