her vagine was all disorganized.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
