she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
vagina is talking i cant
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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