My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
