oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
