You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
