Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
