Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize