Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
