Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
