so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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