doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Nicole vs. Life
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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