new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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