i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
sarcasm needs its own font
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Are we still banned from the library?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
