How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize