I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
