She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
