i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
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