She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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