K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
