Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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