I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
