# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
