i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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