I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
