She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
operation have a gay friend backfired
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
