and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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