gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
We just shotgunned beers for America
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
