you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
