Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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