What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
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