hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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