Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
