he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
This is my gift to your gina
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
