what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
