xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
