I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
