I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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